Fart Jokes

Welcome to our collection of flatulence humour. Fart jokes are one of the oldest forms of comedy — the earliest recorded joke, from ancient Sumer, is said to be about farting. Below you'll find classic one-liners, Q&A jokes and wordplay. Keep them family-friendly and save the loudest ones for the right crowd.

Classic Q&A Fart Jokes

Short question-and-answer jokes rely on wordplay, double meanings and surprise punchlines. They work well as quick ice-breakers.

• Q: What do you call a person that doesn't fart in public?
  A: A private tutor.
• Q: What's the definition of bravery?
  A: Someone with a bad stomach chancing a fart.
• Q: Why don't farts graduate from high school?
  A: Because they always get expelled.
• Q: Why do farts smell?
  A: For the benefit of people who are hearing impaired.
• Q: What do you get if you eat refried beans and onions?
  A: Tear gas.
• Q: What do you call a dinosaur's fart?
  A: A blast from the past.
• Q: What's invisible and smells like bananas?
  A: A monkey's fart.
• Q: Why don't you fart in church?
  A: Because you have to sit in your pew.
• Q: What's the difference between a fart and a Ferrari?
  A: Not everyone has been in a Ferrari.
• Q: Why shouldn't you fart in an Apple Store?
  A: Because they don't have Windows.
• Q: What do you call it when a caveman farts?
  A: A blast from the past.

One-Liner Fart Jokes

Short, sharp and easy to remember. These one-liners work well as drop-ins during a light conversation.

• Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably rubbish.
• I didn't fart. My intestines just blew you a kiss.
• If you fart during a game of Twister, you are dead to me.
• Laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they'll stop laughing.
• An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but beans will keep everyone away.
• I don't fart. I whisper in my pants and giggle.
• Farts are just the ghosts of the food we eat.
• My farts are so bad, even I leave the room.
• Exercise makes you fart. Another reason to avoid it.
• Home is where you can fart freely.
• Elevator farts are wrong on so many levels.
• Ninjas don't fart. It would blow their cover.

Fart Puns and Wordplay

Wordplay turns everyday phrases into flatulent fun. A good pun works best when delivered with a straight face.

• I used to be addicted to farting, but now I'm trying to break wind of the habit.
• What's a fart's favourite type of music? Hip-pop.
• My friend's fart joke really blew me away.
• That bean burrito was a gas!
• I'm writing a book about farting. It's sure to be a best-smeller.
• My dog's farts are so bad, they count as chemical woof-fare.
• I tried to hold in my fart, but it was an impossible toot.
• The fart competition was intense — it came down to sudden death.
• My diet's working! I've gone from thunderous to merely cloudy.
• That silent fart was a stealth bomber.

Why Fart Jokes Work

Fart jokes cross cultures, ages and languages because they tap into a universal human experience — everyone farts, about 14 times per day on average. Much of the humour comes from the social taboo around flatulence: there's a tension between politeness and a perfectly ordinary bodily function, and comedy thrives on that kind of tension. From ancient Sumerian tablets to modern internet memes, the core appeal stays the same: simple, surprising, and a little bit cheeky.

If you enjoyed these, you can hear some of the sounds behind them on our soundboard, or dig into the science over on the facts page.